Pure Heartache

What would you say to this beautiful little girl when she asks you,

"Mom, have you ever wanted something so bad your heart hurts and then it never happens or your don't get whatever you wanted?"

First I thought to myself "Oh my gosh this poor little girl, what could she have wanted so badly and we didn't or weren't able to get her?

Then she went on saying:

"Like the other night when we went to go see the fireworks and they had moved them and we weren't able to watch them from where we were?"

Whew, I thought to myself, she's a kid everything small to us is going to be huge deal to her.

She then said:

"Mom, that's how I feel this whole adoption is like. "Would if my baby brother won't ever be able to come home to our family?"

My heart sank to my knees and tears swelled in my eyes, I took a deep breath then I had told her that all we could do is pray hard and hope for the best. The reality is something could happen, after all adoption is never a certain thing you can count on. Of course we thought long and hard about this adoption and what it would do to our children prior to jumping in and signing the adoption contract. But some how this conversation wiped me off my feet. Truth is, I feel just like her. I am the 8 year old little girl with my heart breaking and I have no control of what is happening.

This all comes about after our agency told us last night that all of the hopeful

rumors we had heard in the past week from other agencies are just that rumors

and not to believe them because there isn't anything concrete to go by.

Need I Say More?

Actually we are doing okay right now. I just saw this image and it made me laugh to think that's truly how we feel some days. I know that in the end we will be stronger people because of this ban or at least I like to think so.

Oh Dear Lord next time you want to give me strength how about you just send me to the gym instead? Just a thought.

Not too much to say

I haven't written for a while because I haven't really had much to say. It's like I have put a hold on all emotions for now or until we hear something from our agency about a new court date. Don't get me wrong I am still staying very busy altogether but I just don't have much to say.

Here is what's going on thus far or rumors that we have heard from other agencies:

Rumor #1: Courts are not planning on closing as they do every year for the rainy season.
Rumor #2: The investigation has been completed
Rumor #3: The ban has been lifted and we just need to wait for a new court date.
Rumor #4: July 2nd there should be a decision on how to proceed with the court cases that are in limbo
Rumor #5: After July 2nd we should have a new court date.
Rumor #6: We won't receive a new court date but instead the judge will just sign our papers and we will have passed court.

I say these are all rumors because this is a summary of what I have gathered from some other agencies through out US, Europe & Australia. Our agency has not confirmed any of this yet.
I'm not sure when I will hear from our agency. I was hoping to get some kind of update from them today but no such luck. I am now thinking maybe next Friday. That has been the motto lately. Live hour to hour, day to day, week to week.

Some other things we have been doing lately:

The kids went to VBS this week and loved every bit of it. They asked if they could do it all summer long. I wish they could but it was only for 1 week.

Along with some very hot days we have been blessed with no water! The city have been working on replacing all of the water mains in down our street for the past month or so. Not only are we blessed with having to park a mile away we have no water either. Not ever quite sure when it will go out or when it will come back on. The sent us an apology letter with a case of water and told us to use the water only if we didn't have water to use and to use it as a reserve source. Are these people for real? Oh well, what are you going to do, right?

This is really cool check it out....

Rain in Africa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjbpwlqp5Qw

~

??????

This was on the Current News on Ethiopian Abandonment Cases Blog

A summary of an update from a US agency:

An announcement is expected tomorrow, and we think the outcome is going to be positive. All the papers provided by the orphanages were found to be in order.

What in the H E double hockey sticks does this mean?

I am going to start a reality game show called: The Adoption Journey

Lets see how many people can go through adoption without loosing their minds, their wallets or their self control?

NO NEWS ~ GOOD NEWS??

I haven't heard anything from our agency for a while on how the investigation is going. There are rumors that the orphanage that our little one was at has the investigation completed but the ban is still in effect. If the ban gets lifted we then need to get a new court date. Even though there are rumors of the courts staying open our agency has told us not to count on it. The courts usually close in August and September, so if we do not receive a court date prior to the closing we have to wait until October for a court date and then we can travel. I am not too sure I can wait that long. Seriously, it sickness me to think of needing to wait until fall to bring our precious little guy home. Some days Matt and I are strong and some days we fall apart. The funny thing is, when Matt is strong I'm the one falling apart and when I am strong.... well you get the picture. If I could have a time line to go by or something to hold onto I might be able to carry through.

We received our referral on March 5th

We accepted the referral on March 6th

We received notification that our dossier was stolen on April 9th

We received notification of the ban on all abandonment cases on May 7th

We received our court date on May 13th

Our court date was set for June 4th ~ was not seen due to the abandonment ban

June 17th and still waiting to pass court or waiting to get an answer on a timeline.

I understand that there are a lot of people in the adoption world that have had long waits but nothing prepares you for the long waits that you were not anticipating.

Don't worry about a thing.......

We're trying to stay optimistic that this whole abandonment ban will be over soon. We are also trying to stay very busy by working around the house on some projects and keeping our schedule packed full. The kids seem to be doing okay with everything that is going on. They just want their little baby brother home. They pray every night for a successful court date and that he can come home soon. Over all we are all doing okay and know that the timing is in God's hands and we need to trust in him. Sometimes that is easier said then done but I think we're doing it now.

Today our little one turns 4 months old. Here are the 4 things I love about him.

#1. His GREAT BIG BROWN EYES.
#2. His long, long eyelashes.
#3. His big smile.
#4. His perfect little lips.

This baby is absolutely gorgeous. Even though it is very tough right now, I also love the amount of patience he has already taught us. I believe that as parents we learn just about as much from our children as they learn from us if not more. This baby is a true gift of God and I would be foolish not to trust in God and God's timing.

Have a Great weekend!!

Feelin' a little down

So we gathered the courage to call our case worker Christy to see what happened on our court date, June 4th. We had told ourselves we would wait until Tuesday (today) to call and bug her. Well Matt called her and said "I have had patience up until now and I now need to know what's going on". She laughed and then told us that there were 3 orphanages that had the investigation complete and are now clear to have their cases go to the court to be heard. Our little one was not at any of those orphanages. She had said that they are now working on the investigation for the section of orphanages in which our little boy was from. She did not know when the investigation would be over our when he would be cleared to go to court. We had then asked her once the investigation was over for his orphanage when would our case be heard in the courts and she could not tell us that either.

So basically our case was not heard and they do not know when they will even see our case. The court closure is still set for August through September so we're running out of time. We're feeling a bit frustrated and completely helpless. We are praying for a miracle and hope we can still have our case be heard prior to the closure and that we are able to travel this summer still.

I can't help but think that if our dossier hadn't been lost (THANKS UPS) our court date wouldn't have been delayed and would have missed this whole abandonment delay and we would be holding him sooner. I just want to hibernate and wake up when I receive the all from Christy saying we passed court and we can go and bring our little guy home to our family.

So What's ADOPTION really like?

Nope, no news yet.

While we are fast asleep

......or laying wide awake all night, our power of attorney will be going to court for us. Most likely our case will not be heard because the investigation has not been completed yet, but we can pray for a miracle. There is a rumor going around is that there could be a good chance that the investigation could be completed by the end of the month. I can only pray that this is true and that the next couple weeks go fast.
At first I was worried that the baby's room wouldn't be ready in time or I would worry that I wouldn't have everything in order for him to come home. Now I can say I don't really care if I have everything perfect as long as I can bring this beautiful baby boy home to our loveing family ASAP. We need him as much as he made need us. I am tired of dreaming about holding him and kissing his little chunky cheeks I am more than ready to do it for real.

I am not only praying for this investigation to be over and we pass court, I also pray for peace during the wait.

Need some prayers

This Thursday is our court date, June 4th.
For those of you that do not know how this works, we have someone appointed as our power of attorney and she will go to court for us in Ethiopia. If we were to pass we would then receive travel dates and start packing for our trip to bring our baby boy home. The hang up here is that there is a delay in some adoption cases due to an abandonment investigation that is going on. If the investigation is not completed by Thursday the court will not see our case. We will then need to wait for the investigation to be completed and then our case will be seen. As far as I know right now if our case is not seen on Thursday we won't be notified of a new date we'll just need to sit and wait for a call saying we passed court. The court will close in August and reopen in October for the rain season in Ethiopia. If we don't go to court before August we will need to wait until October. Our case worker had told us that in November there was a delay similar to this one and it took about 2 months to get through everything and get caught up. We have a great deal of Faith and believe that all things happen for a reason but I'm not too sure how much more of this roller coaster ride I can stomach. There is nothing I can do but pray that the Ethiopian courts can move swiftly and finish the investigation so our little one can come home this summer yet.