What would you say to this beautiful little girl when she asks you,
"Mom, have you ever wanted something so bad your heart hurts and then it never happens or your don't get whatever you wanted?"
First I thought to myself "Oh my gosh this poor little girl, what could she have wanted so badly and we didn't or weren't able to get her?
Then she went on saying:
"Like the other night when we went to go see the fireworks and they had moved them and we weren't able to watch them from where we were?"
Whew, I thought to myself, she's a kid everything small to us is going to be huge deal to her.
She then said:
"Mom, that's how I feel this whole adoption is like. "Would if my baby brother won't ever be able to come home to our family?"
My heart sank to my knees and tears swelled in my eyes, I took a deep breath then I had told her that all we could do is pray hard and hope for the best. The reality is something could happen, after all adoption is never a certain thing you can count on. Of course we thought long and hard about this adoption and what it would do to our children prior to jumping in and signing the adoption contract. But some how this conversation wiped me off my feet. Truth is, I feel just like her. I am the 8 year old little girl with my heart breaking and I have no control of what is happening.
This all comes about after our agency told us last night that all of the hopeful
rumors we had heard in the past week from other agencies are just that rumors
and not to believe them because there isn't anything concrete to go by.